Because i still wonder...

Elsewhere...
 in the mothering moments i share in this space...where my heart gets formed into words...

i have told you that being a mother is all i have ever wanted to be...

 It's the truth...

love at it's purest...

ecstasy & agony...

I have been told i am a 'natural mother'...
i liked that  :)

And... i can explain...
It doesn't mean...that i am the best at it...
it means that i don't 'fight it'...i embrace it...
that's all...
that's my story and i am sticking to it :)
because it's the truth - my truth !

The owner at the 'Cardies Shop' in the Mall...

once told me ... that when she had kids she hoped she would be as good at mothering as me...

i was blown away to be honest...when i asked her what she meant...

she said that i was an excellent mother...

right about here i want to mention that i 'don't know her from a bar of soap'...

[what does that mean anyway...? why do we say that...?...what does soap have to do with anything!]

She must have seen my confusion...and elaborated that she saw many people come through the store...

and me and my kids were different...

I felt REALLY flattered...i mean tell this mama that her kids are great and she glows...
well that's how it feels anyway :)

But i left the shop...feeling... oh what's the word...?
confused...amused...surprised...puzzled...
all of these & none of them...

I just wanted to know...
WHAT WAS IT THAT SHE SAW...?
to make her say something so... to my mind... outrageous...

Then again recently...
I took Bradley to a birthday party...
another mommy party-goer....well she did it to me again...
put me in that place of puzzlement...[in a good way...like before]

We were only 10 minutes in...when she turned to me and asked...
whether i had ever considered homeschooling...i said no...that it wasn't for me...
and she remarked that it was a pity...because i was 'a natural'...
Another compliment :)
but again i was surprised and puzzled...
What had i done...?
What had she seen...?


I was just being me...
no pretense here...


I am sure we can all agree...compliments are lovely...
like when someone tells me i take nice photos...
the feeling i get is .... like...
my whole body is smiling...
it feels SO good !

Made me realize...we do not pay each other enough compliments...
a pat on the back...goes a long way... right :)

Especially to those...
 in the trenches of motherhood...
fighting small battles daily to win a big war...
raising GOOD kids...

A pleasure and a pain... i don't need to remind you do i ...!
no you know what i mean...
the moral of my story is not about me feeling...

 perplexed [finally... that's the word !!!]

by 'what they saw'...although it's about that too...
because i still wonder...
because i can't imagine what it is that they saw...
love
enjoyment
passion
what...?

Don't you sometimes wish you could 'see' yourself...through the eyes of others...
only the good stuff  though :)
no...
maybe it would be good to see the bad stuff too...?
harder !!!

I just want to say...we all have different strengths and weaknesses...
I just want to say... to all those moms out there...keep on 'fighting the good fight'...
Mothering is what we were created to do...
do it with...

 all your heart...
all your mind...
all your body...
 and 
all your soul...


Do not allow doubt to take seed in your mothering garden...

DO IT YOUR WAY...
YOUR WAY IS GOOD TOO
I see you...
and i am inspired...
trust me !!! i am inspired...

God made you a family...it's no coincidence that...that face looks up at you...
that they call you... mommy


For me it's an EPIC love story...


like...

standing on a mountaintop at dawn...
arms open wide...
the wind in my hair...
my favorite song playing... 
with the whole world at my feet...

breathtaking...

<3<3<3


How would you describe your love story with your kids...?