...giving Bradley my time...

Hello and welcome :) 

So many things gave me pause today...

I stood... where i always stand...

The wind rushing by me is cool and i am a little uncomfortable...

the sun is off ...again...

I am dressed for summer but autumn has arrived...
and sunny South Africa has not been too sunny of late...

I watch
 and
 wait...
giving Bradley my time...

They play ball... so many emotions play through them...

I worry about another's baby being hit in the head by my son's ball...

I hope they don't hurt the baby or break a window...

They are not playing too wildly...

so my eyes wander...over the wall of the nursery school...

I can't help but notice a mommy saying an extra loving goodbye to her little son...

lots of contact she buries her nose in his neck...kissing him quick...

her tender mothers hand travels down his little body and she pats him on his bum...as mothers do...

I look over at my own boy child... smiling with his friends...he looks at me and shakes his head...the other two are fighting...i roll my eyes...and smile as i mirror his shake with one of my own..

I can't help it...i look back over the wall... to see the mom leave her reluctant child...

he doesn't cry...he watches her for a little bit and then leans his forehead against the cold, rough cement wall...his small foot rolls a rock around on the ground for a moment...

His friend speaks a few words but they do not engage him...the friend walks away...

I watch and wonder if it's true what 'they' say...."they don't miss you after you leave..."

He lifts his head...he looks for her...

she is gone...

I half expect him to... maybe shrug and walk away into his school day...

He makes up his mind...

and in a flash... like only a young male can...

he startles me...he is off and running...across the play ground and out the nursery school gate...

I move forward too... fearing for his safety and aching for him too...he runs swiftly out the main gate and into possible danger...i am too far away...my eyes travel ahead of him... i find his mom's back...and realize he doesn't need to face the traffic at least...he will catch her...she has not looked back once yet...until she hears her child's call...i see the shock in her body as she jerks to a stop and turns...they are now together...

He doesn't need me...to help him...to comfort him...to return him...

My steps slow to a walk... and i look over at Bradley as i go back to standing where i always stand...
he is lucky my time is his...and i am lucky too... 

Post Script

Isn't it sad that brats spoil things for everyone else...

At the moment the junior primary children are not allowed to take a ball to school...
too many fights...too many moaning pupils...
"so and so took my ball and has not given it back..." they say over and over again...
Bradley is so saddened by this new rule...
so i allow him to take a ball and have a quick game before school...
the ball comes home with me...
that's what i was doing there for over 20 minutes on this cold grey morning...