Flint in my back pocket :)

Again i know...

Am made to come face-to-face with...
that haunting feeling...
to endure it...
hands tied behind my back...
keeping eye contact with IT and her... while...
i try to mask my pain and the glistening tears that threaten...
 inwardly i am raging ...
 with EVERY cell in my body...

Good thing i am bound...!
bound by these ropes made of...
propriety...and priority...

I am in that dark, dank, desperate place...

The one where u wish....with all you were... are... and will ever be...
 as a Mother...
with your WHOLE being...in every way...!

To take your child's pain... as your own...

Like wishing hard enough...could make it happen...
More than willing...
i stand here...
ready...
 but unable to ...

...tortured...

All that's left to do......?.....

...BE THERE...
pray....

only...
always and forever...!


Her pain is magnified for me... as i watch IT play through her...
in her...
in her eyes... tears raining down... a flash flood...
the soggy white tissue in her hand has stopped fighting the good fight...
in her sweet confused face...a pretty face that i love...
in her voice...
She spills her soul to me in 5 small word...
small words...
 that have the power...
 to leave us both bleeding and bruised...

*sigh*

I can only hope to say and do the right thing...
for her ... for me

We have taken a beating her and i...but we r not broken...
God is with us...He is strong in all of us...
When God is for us...who can stand against us !

and
let me add...

That while life's storm winds may... cause us to stagger from time to time...
As long as i draw breath...

I will in each ones turn... shield their candle's flickering flame...
with my mind.heart.body.and soul.
and not allow it be extinguished...
This is my vow

Ps

I will even carry a flint in my back pocket if needs be :)

I am always 'picking' songs for my kids...

there have been quite a few through the years...

This is a song i chose for her as she came to the end of grade 7...

and even now it sums things up beautifully...!