IT IS NO SMALL THING...

I am not a housewife...i quite dislike the word actually...
it holds no meaning for me...
it's not who i am...

i am...
  a
 stay-at-home-mom...
'mom'... being the key word :)

i am not 'lucky' to be one...luck implies that it came to be by accident...

but i am grateful...

I have made MANY sacrifices to be here for my children...

 and i would do it all over again...
in a heartbeat :)

Not having to rush away after dropping my Bradley off at school is such a blessing...
let me explain...

When Bianca-Leigh [18] and Brandon [15] were in grade one i was able to walk them in and wait...
for teachers or the bell...whatever they needed...i was in no rush...
But with the passage of time they eventually started to walk in from the car all by themselves...
and i would just sit there in my car for at least 10 minutes maybe more...watching and waiting...my mothers heart just could not bare the thought that they may remember something urgent and return to tell me...
and that i would not be there
*gasp*

My little lovebug Bradley [6]  is an enigma...
he has needed me more desperately...more consistently and for longer...
but once he finds his rhythm...he'll dance !

Not too long ago...
 the beginning of the third term to be exact...he found it...
 he took the huge step of being brave enough to try walking in alone...
my heart fractured just a little to be honest...i would have walked him in for two years... two terms seemed too short...but i don't believe in holding my children back...and since then he has 'never looked back'....no not really...he walks a little bit of the way and looks back and waves and walks on and waves....
And while i know that this 'being able to separate from me' is a necessary evil...
it still is the 'bitter' in the 'sweet' ya know...yes i know u do :)

So it has come to pass...
 that i find myself taking the same path that the
 younger...
fresher...
softer...
 Charmaine took so many years ago...
for although some things may have changed...
plenty has stayed the same...

i still 'mother' the same...so clearly i am happy with my way :)

This
 older...
wiser...
a little more 'no nonsense'
version
she too sits in the car...
and watches and waits...
just in case...

I 'speech' Bradley... everyday about...

being good
working hard
being careful
being kind

*carrying his candle*


and regularly about...

not talking to strangers
not going anywhere with strangers who may tell him 'lies' to draw him away
about who would come for him in a real emergency
not going near the school gates
 not following friends off the school grounds

well i say regularly but honestly...
 it's probably every day too
lol


The best thing to come out of this new chapter... after his new found confidence....
is that i am able to just watch...and those that watch... they see...
and do you know what i see...

LOVE
like a rainbow

Parents casually walking their little ones in...
hand holding...
talking as they go...
big people with kids bags over their shoulders...
loving goodbyes
warm hugs
generous kisses
a gentle hand on a small arm
children's faces lovingly held
the precious bending of the adult back to get down to their level
that very anxious child's fears...fears written as clearly on his face as my words on this page...
 heard...
as that Dad decides to rather walk his son in ...
 even if it makes him late...
this scene played out in front of my car...
and i wanted to cheer out loud :)
the Mommy that encourages her daughter to walk in with her friends...
but understands the child's reluctance and relents...
 and there they go onto the school grounds together...and the child is
 happy...

IT IS NO SMALL THING

for if your parents who gave u life can't...
not only listen to BUT hear...
understand
support
cherish
help
focus on
and
love u

then who in this crazy world can...?