Up...up and away...

I watched a vlog the other day...i like vlogs!

A mama and her girl...

The first day of school...

Most mothers know...

The bitter-sweetness of it all...all of the time!

Anyway the video is put to music...a song i've never heard...

the words go...

"it's the time... to cut you loose..."

It's a lovely song... well picked...

But what really struck me as i watched it...

was that it's actually the time to cut the mama loose...
like...

what if the cut is to the mama most...

the both of them...

one from the other...

We always think about the umbilical cord being cut...and the baby is free...

But what if it's more like...cut the cord and the mama is loosened from her child...
that 'first cut is the deepest'...there is blood and tissue involved here...
we feel as if it's the beginning ['the first time ever i saw your face'...kind of moment]
but it's really the beginning of the end...
but remember...

 endings always bring new beginnings with them...
it a rule!

After that... it's a slippery slope from that moment on though...

The baby is always growing up... up and away...
slowly gently uncurling...the air gets in between...
things need sunlight to begin to grow...and grow fast they do...

Seriously
you'll just blink!...

a never ending separating...
a pulling apart...
a becoming undone and redone...
over and over and over...
forever...

And the mother bears the brunt of this...
the child was made for just such a season as this one...
the mother heart was not.

But mothers are built strong...
weathered and seasoned by
time...storms...smiles and tears... 

And what of the bitter-sweetness....?
yes by that too...

For it becomes a sometimes loud - sometimes quiet...
 ever constant... companion...
 to any mother worth her salt...  on this epic journey of motherhood.

 It hurts when your children grow up and away...
they have 'growing pains' in their bones...
but mothers have them in their hearts...

and that is as it should be
but it still hurts...and sore is sore!

Post Script
'The first cut is the deepest' a song by Sheryl Crow
'The first time ever i saw your face' a song by Roberta Flack

The song in the vlog...i'm not sure...i didn't have any luck trying to find out.
The vlog was by 'Sam and Nia'

The House Still Sleeps...

The house still sleeps...
It's early as i write this...

I've been awake for a long while...I lay in bed... praying on this cold winters morning...

The man i share this bed with has left for work...poor him!

Beside me now lies my Bradley...

This is a rare thing these days...

It's funny how things that were the norm have now become....not.

I talk to him in a hushed tone...telling him to stay... and sleep some more...

That's when it begins to happen...the magic starts...

I can hear the early birds out in the garden..i wonder what they say...

I hear Monday morning traffic's hum...

I watch for these curtains to loose their cloak of darkness...

I'll watch this room become... all lit up with first light today...

But more than that...oh so much more than that...

I am aware of this warm little boy body curled up against me...

He is dozing on and off...
We speak a few words when his eyes open.

He tells me he'll get up early tomorrow morning to spend some time with his daddy...sweet thing!

Another time he whispers that i must stay awake... but that he can sleep...and i smile...

He turns away from me and his knee bumps my breast and i don't even mind...

He has lovely hair i think...but right now it's not smooth and shiny like it will be later today...

His nose is a little stuffy too...i can hear him breathing as he sleeps...

and my mothers heart files that tiny fact away too...

Then... he must be dreaming...he laughs softly in his sleep...moves and wakes...

I ask .... and he tells me...

The onesie he is wearing for the second winter in a row, will be too small next time around.

This ever growing child of mine...

I try to take it all in... every precious detail of this sacred morning.

The thoughts i'm having are in a blog post form...

and i know i'll write a little something today...that's how it is for me...unpredictable...heartfelt!

I can now feel the pull of my camera too...

I want to get up and out into the cold to fetch it...but i resist for a while longer...

because i know that the moment i do that... is the exact moment the spell breaks... 

 I just want to linger here a little longer...and i do.

I really need to capture this moment though...

it's. a. good. moment. 

I am fully present...

feeling everything...

wanting to write it down...

and take a photo...

This moment must be important to me hey :)

Teachers On The Playground...

I stand...where i always stand...

The sun reaches out to us...her first light is of that most special kind...the golden kind...

The children are all wearing halos today...from where sunbeams... have been woven into their hair...

Precious things that they are...

children... 

and sunbeams...

The air is cool... but there is the whispered promise of warmth still to come as that fiercely glowing orb climbs...high... into the blue...

As is my way...with green eyes...i watch...

There is running and playing going on all around me...

The hum of childhood fills my ears and makes me smile...first quietly...

 on the inside... my soul stirs to life...

and then a short while later that soul-smile has... 

on, up-ed and out...

 It has found a pathway onto my lips and into my eyes...

for surely my eyes must reflect my feelings...

My thoughts start to wander...from the playground under my feet...

away... and onto this page...

I am touched to see the two 'on duty' teachers both bend down to console another mothers child...

One pulls the jacket closed over a little chest...

The other is on one knee...

Both have hands on him...

Both lean in...

and listen...

 and teach...

There is a struggle going on within this child...

Maybe he is cross...

Maybe he just wants his mommy...

I am too far away to know what the matter really is...

But i feel impressed and grateful for the teachers on the playground...

I hope she [each one] knows her worth!

Post Script

Are we not all teachers on the playground of life...

When good things happen i rejoice...i just can't help it :)