This Hurts So Bad :(

Fresh tears would come in waves today...

Turns would be taken...

I am not really a 'dog person'

BUT

I am SO sad...

In a feeble attempt to avoid the pain i try to tell myself...She was just a dog...

She WAS just a dog - but she was our dog :(

She was my favorite out of the 3 ...

She was a really good mommy to her first and only litter of 5 puppies... so many moons ago... 

When I myself had only 2 young ones to care for...

She took motherhood seriously... just like me and i loved her for it...

We were mothers together her and I.

A great watchdog she always looked out for us...quick to let me know of the goings on in the neighborhood...

She was gentle and loving all these years...

Even this morning still mustering the energy to wag her tail a little bit just for me...

She will be missed around here...

This was our first time...having to have a pet 'put down'...

There were gut wrenching decisions to be made...

I decided some time during the wee small hours that I would stay with her...

That she would hear my soft soothing voice when the time came to leave...

That she would feel my loving hands upon her as she slipped away for good...

I am not sorry we did what we had to do...it was time...

We owed her that...

But i am deeply saddened that she is gone...

The sadness has filled me up... 

 It keeps overflowing out through my eyes and down my cheeks... 

My heart is sore... 

I have come to understand that i am a mother to all...

 the children and animals under this roof...

that must be why this hurts so bad...

***

October 25 2014

Blossom was 13 years old

The Canvas of the Sky - The work of His hands.

On Monday, the Lord held the paintbrush in His expert hand...

It was time to add clouds onto the blue of the sky...

With a steady hand...

 He applied gentle pressure, and pulled a little white, across the blue... in looong sweeping lines...

Today the canvas of the sky would look like this, all day long...
and the beauty of the heavens would be plain to see, for all who cared to look...

On Tuesday, the Lord held the paintbrush of the sky in His expert hand...

It was time once more, to give the heavens, something lovely to hold...

With a steady hand...

He dipped the brush into living water...

and confidently smudged white onto the blue...

Today the clouds upon the canvas of the sky... would look like a priceless water painting all day long...plain to see, for all who cared to look...

On Wednesday, the Lord stood ready once more, paintbrush in hand...
 He began early ... and it soon became apparent that...
 He had chosen to conceal the whole of the blue...
 hidden...for just a while...

With bold strokes he painted away the blues...

 Light greys and darker ones too became,
 His masterpiece for today...

Although this was not as breathtaking a sky as before...
and i would not be able to see the sun set...
These were still special clouds...

The Lord had filled them with life giving water...
which fell down to be soaked up by the thirsty earth... at exactly the appointed time...

And the beauty [that only rain water brings] will surly follow...

just as sure as the sun rises and sets and the tides ebb and flow.


Post Script

On the early morning school run on Monday i had commented to Bianca-Leigh that the sky looked so beautiful to me...
Like God had painted those long sweeping lines of clouds with a paintbrush... for that is exactly how the clouds appeared...like they were being pulled across the sky and off  to one side...

They stayed that way all day and every time i got into my car [which happens often] i was struck anew by the beauty of it all.

Tuesday saw me saying to her that today God had dipped His brush into water and smudged the clouds into place...like a water painting of white on blue... now there were no lines... in their place... familiar looking clouds hung on the horizon of the heavens...

Wednesday we awoke to grey skies...and later the rain that began to fall...

For me ... the heavens and nature proclaim His glory... every day... for all to see.


I am only sorry that i was not able to take any photos.