This Hurts So Bad :(

Fresh tears would come in waves today...

Turns would be taken...

I am not really a 'dog person'

BUT

I am SO sad...

In a feeble attempt to avoid the pain i try to tell myself...She was just a dog...

She WAS just a dog - but she was our dog :(

She was my favorite out of the 3 ...

She was a really good mommy to her first and only litter of 5 puppies... so many moons ago... 

When I myself had only 2 young ones to care for...

She took motherhood seriously... just like me and i loved her for it...

We were mothers together her and I.

A great watchdog she always looked out for us...quick to let me know of the goings on in the neighborhood...

She was gentle and loving all these years...

Even this morning still mustering the energy to wag her tail a little bit just for me...

She will be missed around here...

This was our first time...having to have a pet 'put down'...

There were gut wrenching decisions to be made...

I decided some time during the wee small hours that I would stay with her...

That she would hear my soft soothing voice when the time came to leave...

That she would feel my loving hands upon her as she slipped away for good...

I am not sorry we did what we had to do...it was time...

We owed her that...

But i am deeply saddened that she is gone...

The sadness has filled me up... 

 It keeps overflowing out through my eyes and down my cheeks... 

My heart is sore... 

I have come to understand that i am a mother to all...

 the children and animals under this roof...

that must be why this hurts so bad...

***

October 25 2014

Blossom was 13 years old